


How The Jedi Being Slightly More Chill Saved The Galaxy

by Forestgreengirl



Category: Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dad Plo Koon, Family Bonding, Fluff and Crack, Found Family, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Human Disaster Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Shenanigans, Love Does Not Equal Attachment, Memories, Obi-Wan Kenobi is Baby, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Protective Jedi Council, Protective clones, Tags will be updated, Touch-Starved Jedi, touch-starved clones
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:33:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23375449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forestgreengirl/pseuds/Forestgreengirl
Summary: It’s a bit hard for Palpatine’s plans of evil to happen when the Jedi were actually acting like human beings and not space monks.Or(Some oneshots on how Obi-Wan being called baby, and the council having some chill stopped Palpatines master plan)
Relationships: 212th Attack Battalion & Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Dooku & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & CT-7567 | Rex, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Everyone, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Jedi Council
Comments: 72
Kudos: 986
Collections: council shenanigans





	1. Mace has a sense of humour

**Author's Note:**

> no copyright!!

Mace Windu really did not get paid enough to put up with everything that went on in the order, and in the war. Honestly, between the Kenobi-Skywalker duo, and the general mess that was the Jedi Order, it’s remarkable that he hasn’t had a stress filled breakdown yet. Actually he’s pretty sure  _ certain  _ people in the order have started placing bets on which council member will be the first to snap. Mace’s bets are on Obi-Wan; lord knows that kid is way overdue for a breakdown. Between having Qui-Gon as a master, and Skywalker as a padawan, it's honestly surprising that Obi-Wan  _ hasn't  _ snapped yet.

That stress-filled breakdown starts creeping whenever he seems to spend more than five minutes in the presence of Skywalker, honestly the man was an absolute lunatic, and had a profoundly large ego. As someone tied so heavily in the unifying force, and Skywalker so bright in the living force; being around Skywalker for too long started to overwhelm him. Mace honestly isn’t sure how Obi-Wan can handle it.

Speaking of Obi-Wan, the younger man was being completely hypocritical in his lecturing towards Skywalker and Tano, no matter how hilarious it was; his desire to tease Obi-Wan was even greater than the humour of the situation.

“-ly reckless and stupid! You both could have been killed.”

“I know Master! But we had it perfectly under control! We had a plan!” 

“Yes and your plans usually involve crashing a ship and nearly dying!” 

“Obi-Wan, wasn't one of the plans you and Qui-Gon came up with literally just ‘scatter throw bombs and hope you escape.” Mace cuts in dryly, raising an eyebrow at the betrayed look Obi-Wan shoots him.

“That was part of the plan! Not the whole plan!” 

“It still involved bombs and terrible escape methods. Besides, that's not even to mention the amount trouble you and Vos get in in whenever you two are together on missions.”

Obi-Wan just sputters at him, obviously mildly offended and Mace’s blatant exposure; honestly if Obi-Wan didn't want to be teased, he shouldn't make it so easy. Honestly, it was half the council’s favourite pass-time to embarrass Obi-Wan; and trust him, they all have  _ plenty  _ of stuff to bring up. The joys of knowing someone since they were in the cradle. 

Mace is very much ignoring the way Tano is looking like she's just been handed solid gold, or like.. Some actual downtime, and the way Skywalker is just looking between them confused, obviously not expecting Mace to have an actual sense of humour. Sometimes it was really fun being the one nobody expected to actually be able to hold a conversation. 

“Seriously Obi-Wan, bombs?” Anakin questions, raising one eyebrow in amusement 

“Be quiet Anakin. You’ve done worse.”

“Oh I know, but I never expected this from you of all people.”

“Are you kidding Skywalker, Obi-Wan has been a disaster since before he even left the creche.” Mace once again interrupts, the fact that he's bone-dead tired is probably the only reason he's even saying this much. He really was not looking forward to whatever revenge tactic Obi-Wan was going to pull in return.

“What are some other times, Master Windu?” Tano questions, Mace doesn't know her well but Plo has spent many drunken nights crying about how proud he is. 

“Well, there was that one time when he was 16? And he was on a mission with Qui-Gon and I, and he got distracted by a bug and tripped over a rock and landed in a pond,” Mace ignores how Obi-Wan is trying to kick his ankles without being noticed. Judging by the amused glances of the Captain and Commander; he wasn't being very subtle, “Or the time him and Vos got themselves locked in a hidden door in the temple while trying to ditch class.” 

He gets twin scandalised gasps from Tano and Skywalker, and a displeased pout from Obi-Wan; he really couldn't wait to tell the council that he was  _ pouting,  _ turns out Plo’s declaration that Obi-Wan was baby was absolutely correct. 

God the council was going to have a field day at the next council meeting, this was definitely worth having to interact with Skywalker today.


	2. Obi-Wan CAN run in heels.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeing Obi-Wan run in heels, while Plo Koon cries and Master Windu looks tired in the back; it was honestly one of the weirdest things Anakin had seen for awhile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no copyright

Anakin Skywalker was sure in his idea that everybody in the council, including his former master; were absolute sticks in the mud. Seriously, between their lack of respect for anything outside of their precious order and their inability to crack a smile, it’s a wonder people actually even spoke to them. He’s pretty sure that Windu has ever even laughed before, the man is probably a robot honestly.

Anakin isn’t saying that he doesn’t love Obi-Wan because he does, the man likes his brother, but for Kriff sakes, sometimes he’s the most boring person to be around. Seriously, was he born wearing his Jedi robes?

Now he’s so sure in this belief about the council, that the day he comes across Obi-Wan power-walking through the temple wearing..are those bright red high heels?! What the kriff?

He has to blink a few times to work out what is going on, or whether he's hallucinating, but no; there’s Obi-Wan and he definitely is wearing heels. If it wasn’t weird enough to see his former master walking in heels and doing it  _ well;  _ then seeing Master Plo Koon standing in the back looking like he was about to cry, that was definitely one of the weirdest things Anakin has seen today.

Apparently none of them cared about the assorted Senators that were standing around, except Bail Organa who just looked amused as he watched whatever the kark was happening right now. Honestly Anakin was  _ really  _ confused about it all. 

“Obi-Wan when I asked if anyone could do it, I did not mean go and put them on.” Master Windu speaks up suddenly, sounding very, very tired.

“My talent was questioned, Mace, I had to prove it.”

“You really did  _ not.”  _

“Be quiet Mace. Obi-Wan looks great in those heels.” Depa Billaba interrupts, a shit-eating grin on her face. Honestly, Anakin was going to have a stroke at this point. 

“I do don't I?” 

“Oh absolutely, baby brother mine, the real question is; can you run in them?” 

Anakin feels mildly alarmed, he really doesn’t want to witness Obi-Wan trip over and break his ankle, but also.. did Depa Billaba just call Obi-Wan her baby brother? First of all he thought Jedi weren’t supposed to have attachments, or really feelings at all; second of all, Anakin is pretty sure they're not secretly related.

“Are you kidding? Of course I can run them.”

“Prove it.”

Anakin doesn't even have time to break down what the fuck is happening, before Obi-Wan takes off him running, still wearing those kriffing heels, as Windu, Billaba and Plo Koon just stare. This is probably one of the weirdest interactions Anakin has seen with the Jedi. Faintly he’s aware of some blue-skinned Senator trying to sneakily take some holo-pictures of the event. Anakin’s more interested about how Obi-Wan  _ hasn’t  _ fallen over and broken something yet. 

“-kin!” Padme asks suddenly, clicking fingers in front of his face.

“Sorry what was that?”

“I was asking how missions were going, but what are you so distracted for? 

“Uh, the fact that Obi-Wan is wearing heels! And that the council is actually showing emotion.”

“Seriously Ani? Obi-Wan has worn heels before.”

“No!?” Anakin is pretty sure he would have remembered if Obi-Wan had worn heels at all around him.

“Yes, there's multiple holo’s of him and a few other Jedi wearing heels. Though they might be buried in the web by now, you could probably still find a copy somewhere.”

“He never told me any of this stuff!” 

Padme just kind of stares at him, usually Anakin liked being the centre of her attention but right now it just makes him sweat. 

“You never asked; he certainly wasn’t trying to hide it.”

“Oh.” Padme had always had the ability to make Anakin feel like an absolute  _ idiot.  _ Honestly, now he’s just wondering whether it’s that Obi-Wan didn't trust him, or that he was too distracted to really care. Palpatine had always told him that Obi-Wan was hiding things, but.. Padme is telling him differently, and Obi-Wan certainly  _ looks  _ like he’s not hiding things from him. 

He turns back in time to see Plo Koon.. crying? and saying something to Windu about how “their son is growing up.” 

“What the kriff is going on.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mental image of Obi-Wan just sprinting full speed in heels as Plo Koon cries has got me WHEEZING. I promise this story has an actual plot, we’re just building towards it slowly.
> 
> Let me know what you thought!! Or come chat on tumblr!! (@forestgreengirl)
> 
> \- forestgreengirl


	3. Lap-Sitting, and Wolffe gains a new brother.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cody was used to weird Jedi antics, this easy affection between three of them was Not something he was used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy! no copyright claims!

Cody had grown to really not like any mission briefings that involved senators, Senator Organa and Amidala were probably the only ones he could tolerate, all the others just made Cody want to grind his teeth; or kick them in the kneecaps. For all that Cody’s general was a master negotiator, Cody had never quite developed the patience to coddle idiotic senators, its one of the traits his  _ buir  _ used to say he got from him, much like Wolffe and Bly. Ponds and Fox however, were excellent at putting up with them, it really did suck that the only two of his batchmates he had here were Wolffe and Ponds; it's so rare that they're all together in one place. It's the only thing he misses about Kamino. 

Having dealt with the Jedi for so long, Cody honestly thought nothing they could do would surprise him anymore, between Skywalker, Tano and his own General, Cody had seen it all before. Despite his insistence that he was prepared for anything, seeing General Koon tug a previously standing Obi-Wan to sit half on his and General Windu’s lap, that certainly had never been on his list of possibilities of things he would see. For starters, didn't the Jedi have that stupid rule about no attachments? At least he remembers hearing Skywalker bitch about that to a bored looking Rex, and secondly; Obi-Wan had always shied away from contact, flinching away from even just a pat on the shoulder, so seeing the easy affection between the three was a major shock to Cody.

Cody notices immediately the way Obi-Wan flushes, pinkish tint covering his ears and down below the Jedi robes, Cody cant help but think how  _ cute _ Obi-Wan looks like that. He’s a bit-too absorbed in Obi-Wan's flushed cheeks that he almost misses the quiet conversation that causes his brothers to go wide-eyed and still. 

“Stop squirming, Obi-Wan.'' General Windu whispers, curling a protective arm around Obi-Wan’s waist to try and stop him from trying to get up and stand, still focused on whatever bullshit the senators were talking about, honestly Cody had realised it was useless information and stopped listening. 

The interaction is so casual it almost seems like a regular occurence. All Cody can think is that Obi-Wan looks like a disgruntled cat. Cody can relate, he's pulled a few squirming shinies into his lap before when they’ve been scared or avoiding medical, he's also been tugged down into his batchmates laps, usually Bly and Wolves' though Fox has known to do it whenever Cody is being particularly hyper. 

Obi-Wan expectedly does  _ not  _ stop squirming, honestly the generals should have known better than to assume that in any world Obi-Wan was going to actually listen to them. The man was honestly known for not doing what he's told. It drove Coughdrop absolutely crazy.

“Sit still and listen to the briefing,  _ ad’ika. _ ” General Koon whispers after it becomes apparent that Obi-Wan is not going to just sit still, tapping a pattern onto Obi-Wan's bouncing leg and watching out of the corner of his eye at Obi-Wan's reaction.

Obi-Wan's reaction, of course, includes going absolutely shock still, sending an annoyed glare towards General Koon, which honestly, it would be alot more intimidating if he wasn't also borderline pouting. At this point he just looked adorable, apparently Windu and Koon both are aware of it, if the hint of a smirk playing on their lips were anything to go by. 

Cody was more distracted by the fact that General Plo Koon had just called Obi-Wan the mando’a equivalent of ‘little one’, judging by the mildly shocked looks on the other troopers' faces; they had also picked up on that little sentence. Cody watches out of the corner of his eye as Wolffe’s shocked look morphs into an absolute chaotic soft look, Cody recognises that look  _ very  _ well, it's the look he reserves for new shinies, or when he first met Rex; it's the look that just screams  _ “baby brother.”  _ Apparently Wolffe has decided that Obi-Wan is one of his new brothers. 

Cody trades a glance with him, silently telling him to  _ chill,  _ Wolffe meets his gaze with an absolute shit-eating grin. 

Cody can’t believe he's going to have to fight his brother for the rights to keep Obi-Wan, Wolffe cant have him; Cody’s already gone and gotten attached

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay look- Plo, Mace and Obi-Wan are highkey some of my favourite Jedi. I’m also desperate for found family dynamics; they make me go crazy stupid.
> 
> One of my discord servers is 90% responsible for how chaotic & sort these chapters will be, because they’re nice and make me Cry.
> 
> Come chat on tumblr! (@forestgreengirl) 
> 
> -Forestgreengirl


	4. Obi-Wan gets a hug, and also mildly force drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-battles were always horrible for Obi-Wan, it’s a good thing he has good friends who care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no copyright 
> 
> Enjoy!

Despite what most people thought, and what Obi-Wan used to think; the council were  _ not  _ in fact absolute killjoys. It wasn’t till he actually joined the council that he realised it was all for show. Now he takes great amusement in convincing everybody he’s a ‘serene’ and ‘perfect’ Jedi, and that the council spends most times sitting and quietly discussing different political matters. It’s a little bit funny to Obi-Wan considering the last meeting they spent most of the time bitching about the Chancellor, and the discussing how much they like their commanders. 

Depa Billaba is not something he expected he would grow quite close to, especially with her nearing the end of her padawan days when Obi-Wan was being thrown at Qui-Gon; but somehow they had actually grown to be quite good friends. Part of that was definitely due to Mace mothering the both of them, Depa found it amusing, apparently he's been doing that since she was 12; Obi-Wan just doesn’t know how to react other than get embarrassed. Depa thinks that it's because they are the youngest two. 

Usually they gave him the satisfaction of  _ not _ pulling anything in front of anybody outside the council, apparently in the middle of a war, those rules are suddenly null and void. Apparently Depa had decided to show her hand right in the place where Obi-Wan definitely  _ did not  _ want her to. This just happened to be immediately after a tense battle, in front of most of their troops and also Obi-Wan's former padawan. Honestly Obi-Wan wanted to throttle her sometimes. 

\--

  
  


“Master Obi-Wan? Are you okay?” Comes Ahsoka’s quiet voice, everyone had been feeling the after effects of the battle, they had lost more than they could even count; and they were no closer to apprehending the separatists than they were before. It was an overwhelming loss that Obi-Wan hadn't even begun to process.

It was one of the worst parts of this war, seeing men he respected and knew well so needlessly lost in the midst of battle, good men who only ever wanted to help (it just reminds him of broken childrens bodies, and handing over a part of him) some days Obi-Wan wasn't sure he was going to survive this war. 

His only relief was that it was not only the 212th and 501st, Mace and Depa’s battalions were also here. It was good for Cody and Rex to have some of their brothers to support them after such a devastating loss. Obi-Wan wished he was anywhere but here, preferably in the archives, or the room of a thousand fountains; somewhere away from the smell of blood and the echoes of screams. 

He was doing his best not to let anything to do with how he was feeling show, doesn't want to take away from his grieving men, or the obviously iistracted jedi. He was just trying to get through the awards and the discussions, he just had to wait that out before he could stumble his way somewhere quiet to try and remove the ghosts in his head. Unfortunately Obi-Wan hasn't been as subtle as he could be, considering Ahsoka has apparently clued in on his real feelings, and Cody has been subtly watching him out the corner of his eye for a while. 

“Pardon? Yes of course I'm fine, Ahsoka.” He responds back, trying to pull at least a fragile smile onto his face. 

Ahsoka apparently doesn't believe them, and even that conversation has caught the ears of Anakin and Rex, Obi-Wan was beginning to regret coming on this mission.

He's busy trying to formulate a response that would satisfy them when he heard the sounds of Depa approaching.

“Hey baby bro!!” comes her sudden voice, popping up behind him. Apparently this was the day she’s chosen to  _ ruin  _ Obi-Wan's life. 

The men around them are looking towards the owner of the nose in the middle of all this silence. Obi-Wan is honestly considering just walking back in front of a droid just to get away from this conversation. 

“Depa.”

“Don’t act like that! You love seeing me.”

“I don’t.”

“You do so.”

“I don’t even like you.”

In an effort to  _ not  _ look either of them in the eyes, especially Mace (honestly he swears the man has a sixth sense for emotional turmoil). Considering the fact that he was avoiding eye contact, he was heavily aware of how anakin and ahsoka were watching him, same with a few reports he  _ definitely  _ didn’t want to see anything.

“Are you okay Obi-Wan?” Mace speaks up solidly, trying to meet Obi-Wan's eyes. He really had to avoid that otherwise there’s a chance Obi-Wan is going to start crying. 

“Yeah I’m fine. What about you guys? Everything okay

“We’re fine kids, what about you?” Obi-Wan just shifts his eyes slightly, Depa gets the hint and switches sides to press against him, as she subtly sends a force suggestion to  _ look away.  _

“I’m good, I’ve got a few more things I need to take care of.” 

“Don’t lie to me Obi-Wan, anything else can wait right now.” 

“Seriously guys, I’m fine; I just need to finish things.”

“What you need to do, is take care of yourself.” Mace speaks softly, the tone of voice just making Obi-Wan feel worse.

“I cannot afford to lose it now, not when my men need me.” Obi-Wan feels detached from his own voice, the force around him feels simultaneously so overwhelming and also underwhelming, he’s not quite sure he’s really here.

“You won’t be much help to them like this.” Mace responds, stepping forward to push Obi-Wan's head done to his shoulder. The loss of light around him immediately making the throbbing in his head to calm down. 

Obi-Wan hates how he reacts to touch, ever since he was a kid he used to react strangely to no contact, is one of the things Qui-Gon tried to train him out of. Obi-Wan thought he had grown out of the childish need for contact.

He tries to move back, to maintain that cold facade he’d almost mastered, but Mace won’t let him, just keeping his head pressed down and one hand stroking the back of his neck. Depa is a comfortable presence beside him, walm pulses of light radiating around her. Obi-Wan really should be more concerned about the sounds of pictures being taken, but all he can focus on is the warm light of his friends, and the way the force is curling around him, making his head buzz with emotion. 

He lets the force swallow him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me projecting onto Obi-Wan?? More like than you would think, I’m also mildly affection starved and don’t know how to ask for it //cue screaming// 
> 
> Anyway!! Chat about this in the comments or on my tumblr!! (@forestgreengirl)
> 
> \- forestgreengirl


	5. Mace Windu cares a lot about his dumb son.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mace Windu really needed a holiday, he also needed Obi-Wan to learn some goddamn self-care.

Mace Windu had seen a lot of things in his time, between being friends with Qui-Gon through their knighthood and into mastery, and being friends with Obi-Wan Kenobi and by association Skywalker, its remarkable he hasn't left the order already; or punched someone straight in this face; he does have a list of people he would use brute force against.

Somehow through all of that crap, he's only ended up with three things that make him  _ furious _ ; one of them being people not filing their reports properly (seriously, why can nobody file their kriffing reports) the other being Skywalker just in general, and the third was people he cared about hiding being hurt or injured; unfortunately for his peace of mind; Obi-Wan had a habit of pressing the third button  _ weekly. _

Seriously what the kark did Qui-Gon do to this kid as a Padawan, he had a punctured lung last week and  _ still _ didn't tell anyone, no Mace had to find out when he passed out in the middle of a spar, he still should been on medical leave; but the Chancellor had seen fit to send him back. Mace has never wanted to commit treason so badly. Obi-Wan seemed to have a built-in inability to  _ admit _ that he was injured or sick; Depa and Plo liked to joke about how close Mace was to a total nervous breakdown; the worst part is that they are right.

He’d seen enough painful potential shatterpoints with Obi-Wan involved to not be overly concerned with his health, what was with the Force and trying to kill the kid at any possible chance; even if he didn't see the shatterpoints, having watched the kid grow up certainly made him worried about him. Force save him, he hated the council sometimes. 

\------

Mace always hated missions that involved water, there was something about trying to fight while  _ damp  _ that made him mildly want to puke. Unfortunately for him, the separatists have decided that planning attacks on water-soaked planets were their favourite pastime; seriously this is the seventh aquatic attack in two weeks; they were losing men and Jedi quicker than ever before. 

Everyone had been doing their best to lower the rate of casualties, Obi-Wan had been twisting himself in too many directions, trying to balance everything on his own, this had resulted in his immune-system taking a plummet. He of course hadn't said anything to anyone, especially not the council; but Mace had eyes, the council had noticed how distant Obi-Wan was becoming, how much more reckless. Mace truly was afraid they were going to lose him to this war. 

Currently they were finishing up after the Seperatist mission, it was one of their easier battles, they hadn’t lost quite as many men as they usually did; still, everyone was feeling the loss amongst them.

Mace was checking on his men, especially Ponds considering the man always took the troopers deaths harder than anyone. Except Commander Cody was with them this time, him and Ponds could share the burden, Mace would give them that. 

This just meant that Mace didn’t particularly have anything else to do except tell the council and tell them the mission has been completed and track down where the kriff Obi-Wan had gone because he  _ knew _ that the younger man had disappeared to avoid medical. One day the 212th Medic was going to snap and just tie him to the bed; the healers had done it when he was a teenager and refused to lay down when he had at least two broken ribs. Mace thought the healers were going to burst a blood vessel.

\------

It didn't take long to find Obi-Wan, he just follows the sound of arguing and refusal, Obi-Wan's commander was once again trying to convince Obi-Wan to actually go to medical and be checked over, honestly Mace is surprised he's even still attempting it; there's very few people Obi-Wan will listen to about his health. Mostly Plo and Mace himself, sometimes Bant if she threatens to share  _ stories _ to the troops. 

Mace feels a spike of fear go through him at how  _ horrible _ Obi-Wan looks standing there. He’s faintly shaking and his cheeks are flushed a bit too pink than they normally are. Mace remembers suddenly that a droid charged Obi-Wan and the kid fell backwards into the local river, he was too caught up in trying to stay alive to check on Obi-Wan, but now it's obvious that the man hadn't done so much as changed out of the wet clothes; Force, Mace is pretty sure he hasn't even sat down since the battle stopped. The kid always had too big of a heart. 

“Cody, I promise you that I am fine. You do not need to worry” 

“General, pardon the language but you look like  _ crap _ ”

“Thanks-” Obi-Wan says dryly, opening his mouth to say more when Mace cuts in suddenly, destroying any argument Obi-Wan might have had.

“I can handle this Commander, go check on your troops.”

“Of course, General Windu.” Cody salutes, giving one last look at Obi-Wan before sliding away to check on a barely standing Ponds.

Mace stares at Obi-Wan, mildly enjoying the way he nervously shifts in his spot. “Obi-Wan, care to tell me why you still haven't gone to medical yet?”   
  


“I’m not injured!” 

“Whether that is true or not, you're shaking and you look like you have a fever.”

Obi-Wan doesn't shift back fast enough to escape Mace laying a cool hand to his forehead, Mace acknowledges both the burning heat under his head, and the way Obi-Wan subconsciously arches into Mace’s hand. Obi-Wan had always been dreadful at asking for any form of physical contact, though it didn't get this bad until Qui-Gon took him as a padawan. Sometimes Mace wanted to bring his friend back purely to punch him in the face. 

“I don't have a fever, maybe I’m slightly tired but thats just from the battle!” 

“Don’t lie to me Obi-Wan.”

“I’m not lying, I’m feeling fine.”

“Why do you always insist you don't need help, force save me, Obi-Wan, it's not weak to admit you need help! How are you going to take care of your men when you can't even take care of yourself.” 

Obi-Wan reels back as if struck, Mace feels bad for a moment; despite what Obi-Wan liked to portray to everyone, he had always taken criticism or any implication that he’s putting people he cares about in danger. Mace knows this well, he’s witnessed enough of Obi-Wan and his crechemates fights to understand this. 

“Don’t, not now.” Obi-Wan hisses out, voice cracking with repressed emotion. Mace’s heart is hurting in his chest, Obi-Wan was the youngest on the council, which led to most of the council-members developing familial or parental feelings towards the younger man, much to Obi-Wan's disgust. 

“Obi-Wan, you know I didn't mean it like that.”

“Yes you did, don't lie to me.” Mace was treading on dangerous ground at this point, Obi-Wan looked seconds away from either passing out, or panicking; Mace really didn't want that to happen in front of the post-battle reporters that were lurking and definitely taking pictures of the scene.

“Calm down Obi-Wan.” 

Mace shifts forward, planning to grab Obi-Wan's shoulder and pull him in and away from the sharpened rocks behind him, the last thing Mace wants is for him is to slam into those rocks. Except that doesn't quite happen, something dark flashes in Obi-Wan's eyes before he tears himself away from Mace’s grip. 

He catches his foot in the mud underneath them, slipping backwards too quickly for Mace to catch him in time, hitting the jagged rocks behind him with a sharp  _ smack.  _

Kriff. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter ! the first 5 chapters of this are really just setting a few things up, next chapter is from Palps point of view on how things are getting Fucked Up; and after that it’s back to chaos. 
> 
> Feel free to comment some prompts for this, or send them to my tumblr!! (and prompts in general blease @forestgreengirl)


	6. Palpatine is a BITCH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darth Sidius hated the Jedi. He hated Kenobi most of all. Still, some evil can come from all the softness.

There are many,  _ many  _ things that Sheev Palpatine hates, like hot chocolate, or children, or you know; insolent Jedi tearing holes in his plan that took  _ decades  _ to plan. 

Honestly, how the  _ everloving fuck _ does it turn out that the stupid Jedi would actually tear a hole in his plan  _ without even noticing.  _

Palpatine seriously wants to walk into that  _ force-damned _ temple and torture the bastards. 

Especially that Kenobi.

Honestly the man was an absolute  _ pest.  _ Constantly throwing a wrench in Palpatine's ongoing plans to draw the Skywalker boy into the dark side. Kenobi is somehow still unaware of what’s going on, the man just keeps stumbling in stupidly idiotic way through undoing all of Palpatines plans.

Palpatine could honestly say that Kenobi could of made a great sith, if the Jedi hadn’t hooked their cursed claws into the man already. 

Palpatine would never admit it, but Kenobi was 100% one of the strongest Jedi he had ever met, that skill combined with Skywalkers; it would have given him control over the most  _ powerful  _ duo in the galaxy.

They obviously weren’t as strong as Darth Sidious, nobody was. But he would admit they were pretty fucking strong.

Back to his previous point, Palpatine has  _ not  _ spent force-damned years planning the downfall of the Jedi, and the Republic as a whole, only for the  _ Jedi _ to start unraveling it, with their  _ emotions. _

They had somehow flung themselves in more people’s good graces than Palpatine would have liked. 

The plan was for the war to slowly tear down the public’s opinions of Jedi and turn into hatred, leading to an easy takeover when he gives the Order to Commander CC-2224 and brings the downfall of the republic.

However that  _ was not  _ currently happening. Somehow Kenobi being a forced-damned idiot, and getting injured more often than even Palpatine expected, had managed to bring out  _ emotions  _ in the Jedi. 

(How the kriff! What happened to the whole ‘no attachment rule!) 

Sometimes Palpatine  _ really  _ wanted a drink. Or you know, to put a goddamn lightsaber through Kenobi’s  _ chest.  _

Poetic Irony to how Kenobi had chosen to get rid of that fool, Maul.

Actually no, a simple death was too good for Kenobi; and Skywalker if the man continued to be an oblivious pest. 

Palpatine was going to chain the both of them up as he  _ tortured  _ the living daylights out of anyone they cared about, before killing them both  _ so slowly. _ Make them an example of what happens when you  _ disrespect  _ The Darth Sidious. 

Still, Palpatine wouldn’t see the chancellor of the Senate if he didn’t know how to improvise. 

The Skywalker boy still trusted him endlessly, suffering through the immature rambling paid off somehow. The boy had started slipping things about his Master, and the rest of the Jedi.

Things that made Palpatine both seethe, and think of  _ excellent  _ plans to bring about the creation of his empire.

Stuff like how the Jedi had apparently decided that Kenobi was their collective darling boy. Reports had gotten evidence, and Skywalker had told him that the council were always watching Kenobi, never letting him stray too far. Skywalker thought that it’s because they don’t trust either of them. 

It was easy to feed that delusion in the boy.

See, Kenobi was beginning to look more and more exhausted the more the war was going on, and more unhinged and angry as the council continued pressing him.

Palpatine felt the beginnings of a plan forming, he couldn’t get to Kenobi about the death of his master, but maybe he could convince him to join him now. 

Yes, this was a very good idea. Kenobi was powerful, if Sidious could get both of them to join him, there would be no barriers to his control.

If only he could get five minutes with the man, without the council blocking his every move. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate palpatine!! This bitch is CREEPY. However I gotta set up the plot. Next chapter will be More of Obi-Wan being made fun of for being baby!!
> 
> Come chat on tumblr! (@forestgreengirl)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan has plenty of blackmail on Dooku, it’s why he’s perfect for the distraction. He just needs Mace to understand that.

“We have to find some way to distract Dooku long enough for the 501st to be able to sneak in, and rescue the hostages. Yeah?” Obi-Wan really was disliking this plan, and even more than that he was hating that they had to do this mission debriefing in the middle of a town half -full of civilians. 

They had just gotten new intel on what Dooku was planning, that he had hostages inside of the mines, which made their job of trying to reclaim this planet so much harder. 

“Yeah, the only question is; how are we going to distract him?” Obi-Wan throws back to Mace, who was getting a thoughtful look in his eyes, one that didn't give Obi-Wan much hope. 

“We could always send you in, I’m sure there's multiple ways you could distract him.” Quinlan pipes up, and Obi-Wan doesn't even know why he's  _ here,  _ the Shadow isn't exactly known for participating in high profile missions, preferring to keep a low-profile instead. 

A few of the troopers' heads snap up, looking between Quinlan and Obi-Wan curiously, and just a bit horrified. He almost facepalms, Quinlan really needed to learn how to phrase things  _ better.  _ No doubt there would be rumours floating round the battalions for a good few days, or at least until another trooper said something that everybody couldn't help but repeat.

“Are you offering me up as  _ bait?”  _ Obi-Wan questions, though he's a little bit peeved at himself to realise he isn't exactly opposed to the idea, because Quinlan isn't exactly wrong, Dooku was his grandmaster, and Obi-Wan had a fair few stories from his childhood, and the few things that Qui-Gon had told him about his old master, on the rare occasions he’s spoken about him. 

“We’re  _ not  _ offering you up as bait,” Mace starts, shooting a sharp glance at Quinlan, who shrugs in response, “We can find other ways to distract him, ones that  _ don't  _ include throwing Obi-Wan headfirst into danger.”    
  
“You mean what he does daily?” Quinlan counters, beginning to look as stressed as he usually did when talking to Mace for extended periods of time, a look that made Obi-Wan slightly amused. 

Obi-Wan notices the whispers going through the civilians gathered outside their homes, listening in on the debriefing. He spots a few scattered holopads, and feels a sliver of annoyance and dread go through him, there was no doubt that there would be new conspiracy theories, and ‘facts’ about him going around the holonet without the next few days.    
  
Forces sake, he hates the holonet sometimes. 

“I mean technically I could, I’ll just start talking, I’m good at that.” Obi-Wan interjects, because while it is reckless, and borderline  _ stupid,  _ the plan would be effective, Obi-Wan could make sure that everybody had enough time to rescue the hostages and get back out again. 

There’s a particular look in Mace’s eye, one that Obi-Wan is sadly  _ very  _ familiar with. It's the same one that half the goddamn council has; that careful, protective look that Depa and Quinlan both liked to tease him about the council mother-henning him, something that he  _ was  _ actually aware of. 

It would probably be a better choice to just  _ come  _ up with a different plan, then to argue with Mace about this; but Obi-Wan has already figured out that any other plan would result in more of his men dying senselessly. He wouldn't stand for that, being offered up as bait was a lesser evil than to watch his men die. 

“Obi-Wan, we’re not offering you up as bait. That’s a  _ horrible  _ idea. I won’t allow it.” Obi-Wan is mildly hoping that this particular conversation never makes it back to the rest of the council, he’s just a tiny bit convinced that Master Plo is planning to tie him to a chair to get him from running head-first into trouble. 

Or at least that's what Depa had told him during one of their holonights. 

  
“It’s the best course of action, and will save countless lives. I’ve thought this  _ through.  _ I’m not a child Mace.” Obi-Wan regrets saying it as soon as the words are out of his mouth, Mace’s eyes narrow in contemplation, looking Obi-Wan over. An act that despite no longer being a padawan, still makes him shift slightly in place. 

Mace can’t refuse though, because he  _ knows  _ that Obi-Wan is right, he just doesn't want to let him  _ do  _ it. 

“Mace, I’ll be fine, I’ll start talking about the time he walked into a door because he didn’t realise it was glass.” That’s a story that Qui-Gon had told Obi-Wan, purely because it would annoy his grandmaster. And it did, Obi-Wan was half-convinced that Dooku was about to push Qui-Gon  _ out  _ of the window. 

A few clones around them snicker, and a few overhearing civilians, he should make sure to tell the troopers a few more things he knows, humor helps morale after all. Obi-Wan is more-than-surprised that Anakin hasn't thrown his own opinion in on the matter like he usually did. He glances up and almost snickers at the slightly wide-eyed look he was sporting; it was starting to become a recent normal for him. Obi-Wan truly didn’t know that Anakin had no idea Dooku was part of his lineage. 

“Sir. Permission to speak freely?” Commander Cody pipes up suddenly, his voice oddly-toned enough that it automatically puts Obi-Wan on edge. 

“Of course, Commander.”    
  
“If you get yourself killed doing this, I’m going to make sure you never leave the medics again.” Ah yes, Cody’s protective streak, something that Captain Rex has told him fond stories about, something that he’s experienced on more than one occasion. He doesn’t doubt that Cody would certainly try. And he doesn’t doubt that Coughdrop would certainly help him. 

Obi-Wan laughs quietly, it’s such a  _ Cody  _ threat that it amuses him more than anything, the airy sounds prompting an assortment of whispers throughout their gathering crowd, Obi-Wan had honestly forgotten that they were there. 

“Why would I die? I have you to watch my back.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter! It’s more of a filler before the other chapters that I have planned-
> 
> Come chat/send prompts on tumblr! (@forestgreengirl)

**Author's Note:**

> I have a Great need for this sort of stuff okay- and the discord server are a terrible influence when it comes to these ideas. This is dedicated to that whole server uwu 
> 
> Let me know what you thought I’m the comments or on my tumblr! (@forestgreengirl) 
> 
> \- forestgreengirl


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